Students’ stress and how parents can help

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Hong Kong’s youth are facing an unprecedented mental health crisis. Children grappling with mental health challenges is at an all-time high, researchers warn. The coronavirus, school closures, social isolation, uncertainty over the future and more have mentally exhausted them.

Unfortunately, home is not always haven for a stressed-out student. With parents and children overwhelmed by the constant changes over the past year, conflict is inevitable.

In school, teachers’ mental health is deteriorating, too. A recent study shows Hong Kong’s teaching staff are feeling helpless and hopeless, which makes it even harder for them to support their students.

What can parents do to help their children during these difficult times? Here, IMI Psychotherapist and Certified Counsellor Eugnice Chiu shares some of the challenges that students face, and simple ways to reduce their stress.

Stressed-out students: academic, screen, social angst and more

Academic stress. During the pandemic, many children have felt increased internal pressure to work harder and longer to achieve better grades. There is no benchmark: they don’t know how they’re doing, and they don’t know how they compare to their classmates.

Accustomed to having their days scheduled for them, self-paced learning can be a struggle, too. Self-discipline and self-motivation can be hard for children to muster up.

Added to that is the overwhelming pressure some children feel from their parents.

“In Hong Kong some parents are so focussed on their child’s grades, they don’t know how to converse and connect on matters related to their child’s mental, social and emotional health. Now that they’re at home with their children more than usual, they focus on the one thing they know – their child’s school grades. This adds more stress to the already-stressed child,” says Eugnice who is skilled at supporting family with relationship or communication issues.

While there are parents who focus on their children’s overall wellbeing, time is now an issue. Parents may be juggling home and work commitments while navigating homeschooling and online learning. With all the fears and uncertainties surrounding them, they have their own stresses and pressures to contend with, too.

Screen stress. With more time at home, a lot of kids don’t know what to do with themselves. Many turn to their digital devices, allowing them to connect with others in our socially distanced society. In this way, their screens are a source of stress relief.

The challenge though is when screen use goes too far. Many children don’t have the self-discipline to know how or when to detach from their devices. With social media and apps designed to use psychological tricks to continuously grab attention, tweens can easily become addicted to their screens. Excessive screen use can exacerbate a sense of loneliness and – in particular – cause a disconnect between kids and their families.

Constant screen battles can be stressful for parent and child. Arguments ensue and children withdraw.

Social stress. Many of the youth clients that Eugnice has met with recently speak of their loneliness. They’re struggling to make friends. And they’re experiencing more communication challenges and conflict with existing friends, particularly online. Naturally, this can cause kids more stress and angst.

Simple strategies to reduce teenagers’ stress

Connect as a family. Eugnice encourages parents to spend quality time with their children, checking in not only on how they’re doing academically, but mentally, emotionally and socially, too. “The key is to carve out quality time to listen to your children; actively listen rather than commenting and giving suggestions. When children feel seen and heard, they’re more likely to feel safe, which will help to reduce their stress,” Eugnice advises.

Connect with friends. Eugnice advises that screen time is not always a bad thing, particularly when children are unable to connect with peers and socialize in the way they used to. “Quality time spent on screens can benefit children, particularly when engage in conversations with friends. Playing games and maintaining contact with friends online can improve a child’s mental state.”

If possible, Eugnice adds, parents can learn what games their children are playing and join in. This way, as game mates, they connect with their children and develop an understanding of their interests and language.

Create a schedule.  Help children create a daily schedule. Give them the space and freedom to come up with a schedule and then help them to fill in any missing elements that will create balance in their lives. “A daily schedule should go beyond studies, screens and routines; it can include time for art, reading for pleasure, and time with siblings, for example. Exercise, stretching, outdoor activities, simply relaxing, and an appropriate sleep schedule are also important to release energy, balance screen use, and alleviate emotional and psychological stress,” Eugnice advises.

We hope these strategies help to support your children’s wellbeing during these unusual times.

If your child is struggling with stress, anxiety and overwhelm at this time and would like a safe, supportive and non-judgmental space to share and be supported, please get in touch. To schedule an appointment with Eugnice, call +852 2523 7121 or contact us here.

Chinese version 中文版

疫情帶給學生的壓力以及家長如何提供幫助

香港青少年正面臨著前所未有的精神健康危機。研究人員指出,兒童應對的心理健康問題正處於歷史高位。冠狀病毒、學校關閉、社會隔離、對未來的不確定性等等都讓他們精神疲憊。可是,對壓力過大的學生來說,長時間在家裏無法釋放出來。過去兩年疫情的變化,父母和孩子們被壓得喘不過氣來,衝突難以避免。

在學校,教師的心理健康也受到影響。最近一項研究顯示,香港的教職員都感到無助和無望,令他們更難為自己的學生提供支援。在這困難的時期,父母可以做些什麼幫助孩子呢?IMI心理治療師和認證輔導員Eugnice Chiu分享了學生面臨的一些挑戰以及減壓方法。

學生過大的壓力來源:學業、社交網絡和社會焦慮等

學業壓力

疫情期間,許多孩子感到心理壓力增加:因為沒有面授課堂,没有同學的比較,學業變得沒有基準。他們覺得要更努力、用更長時間才能取得更好的成績。自主學習需要學生的自律和自我激勵,而香港一般學生習慣了面授課堂有特定的上課時間表,這對他們來說是很困難的。加上父母給予的無形壓力,更令孩子喘不過氣來。

擅長解決家庭關係或溝通問題的Eunice指出:在香港,一些父母非常關注子女的成績,他們不知道如何就與孩子的心理、社交和情緒健康有關的問題進行交流和討論。現在他們有更多時間在家陪伴子女,但他們只懂專注子女的學校成績。令處於緊張狀態的孩子增加了更多的壓力。

雖然家長們注重子女的整體健康,但他們騰不出時間與子女好好相處。家長要在家庭和工作之間周旋,同時還要兼顧子女在家學習和線上學習。面對圍繞著的恐懼和不確定因素,他們自己也有壓力要應對。

社交網絡壓力

隨著在家的時間越來越多,孩子們大多花時間在手機和電腦上,讓他們能在社交距離限制措施下和外界保持聯繫。這樣,手機和電腦屏幕就成了緩解壓力的方法。

然而,當許多孩子沒有自律性,使用電子產品時間過長,他們就很難從中抽離。很多社交媒體和應用程式設計都會使用心理技巧來吸引使用者持續使用,讓青少年很容易對屏幕上癮。過度使用屏幕會加劇孤獨感,特別是會導致孩子和家庭之間脫節。父母亦會因此與子女產生爭執,令家庭關係緊張而帶來壓力。

社會壓力

Eugnice最近會見了許多年青客戶都談到他們的孤獨感。他們對交朋友感到困惑特別是在網上。他們感受到與朋友的意見不合溝通出現很大的挑戰給孩子們帶來更多的壓力和煩惱。

減輕青少年壓力的簡單策略:

多與子女溝通

Eugnice 鼓勵父母與子女要多相處。不僅注重他們在學業的表現上,還要多關心他們在心理、情感和社交各方面的表現。關鍵是要騰出寶貴的時間來傾聽你的孩子;細心傾聽,而不是評論和提出建議。當孩子們感到被正視和聆聽時,他們會有安全感,這有助於減輕壓力。

多與朋友聯繫

當孩子無法像以前與朋友正常聯繫和社交時有時子女花時間在手機和電腦上並不是一件壞事。Eugnice指出適當的屏幕時間可以使兒童有益,特別是與朋友進行溝通時。利用線上遊戲和朋友保持聯繫可以改善兒童的心理狀態。可行的話,父母可以了解子女在玩什麼遊戲並請求加入。這樣作為遊戲夥伴與子女們聯繫起來,有助加深了解他們的興趣和語言。

建立時間表

協助子女建立時間表。給他們空間和自由來製定,然後幫他們填補當中缺少的元素,讓他們的生活得到平衡。Eugnice建議,每天的時間表除學習、使用電子產品時間和日常事務外;可以包括藝術時間、閱讀時間和兄弟姐妹相處的時間等。 適當的運動伸展、戶外活動、簡單的放鬆以及適當的睡眠時間對於釋放能量、平衡對屏幕使用以及緩解情緒和心理壓力也很重要說。疫情期間, 希望這些策略能幫助您的子女維持身心健康。

如果你的孩子有壓力、焦慮和不知所措等情況,並需要專業支援,請與我們聯絡安排與Eugnice預約,請致電+852 2523 7121聯繫我們。

 

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