Building a healthy relationship with your body

Washboard stomachs. Toned legs. Perfect skin. Men with muscles that have muscles of their own. From our TV screens, to social media, and the models on billboards, we’re inundated with pictures of beautiful people all the time. But is the cost of our preoccupation with beauty too high?

“We have an aesthetic need,” says IMI counselling psychologist, Jessica Lau. “We want to feel beautiful – and that is a totally normal, valid desire – but it can have a big impact on our mental health.”

The rise of movements like body positivity, fat acceptance and body neutrality have paved the way for better relationships with our self-image. However, the cyclical nature of trends means that thin-ness is making a comeback.

In 2025, Zara, Next and Marks & Spencer all had ads which were banned in the UK because the models appeared unhealthily thin. The rising trend of y2k fashion and the number of celebrities using and endorsing Ozempic has helped fuel this pendulum swing.

As skinny moves back into the zeitgeist, what can we do to maintain a healthy relationship with our bodies and minds?

Recognising society’s body image problem

Long gone are the days of dog filters – now, filtering is subtle, which can render photo manipulation invisible. Our perception of beauty is warped by unrealistic expectations set by social media filters and AI enhancements. The impact of screen time on mental health and self-concept is clear.

Studies show that intensity of Instagram use is linked to a higher likelihood of developing symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder. Social media causes more significant levels of body dissatisfaction than mediums like television – and teenage girls are particularly susceptible – a serious concern in an era where mental health problems are on the rise among adolescents in Hong Kong.

According to a study in 2023, around 50% of people using social media edit their photos – though in other studies, this number is as high as 90%. Viewing filtered content regularly can shift your perception of what is ‘normal’ or ‘beautiful’, feeding into  comparison and feelings of inadequacy.

Enhancing your own photos also triggers comparison with a more ‘perfect’ self. Research shows it’s connected to feeling less attractive and having lower self-esteem. From whitening your skin, to making you thin, or clearing acne, AI enhancements tell users that they are not enough as they are, and feed into endemic issues like colourism and body shaming.

The impact of editing your photos has led to a new phenomenon: Snapchat dysmorphia, when individuals seek cosmetic and aesthetic procedures to look like the idealised version of themselves captured in enhanced photos. In 2021, 75% of surgeons reported in a survey that their patients wanted cosmetic procedures to look like their edited counterparts. In 2018, that number was only 18%.

A 2020 study carried out by the UK government asked 7878 people how they felt about their body. 61% of people had negative feelings about their body.

Women, disabled people and transgender people were most at risk. 23% of transgender people felt negatively about their body ‘most of the time’ compared to 12% of cisgender people. Disabled people surveyed noted that healthcare professionals who focused exclusively on their weight negatively informed their physical and mental health. Women cited diet culture, pressures to bounce back after pregnancy, and the plethora of edited and photoshopped images as key factors influencing poor body image. People of colour expressed that they didn’t see people who looked like them in the media – and that a lack of plus size representation affected how they felt about their body.

The study captured the pressures that men experience too – with many reporting that they felt they needed to be tall and muscular. Research shows that one out of three people with an eating disorder is male.
Of the respondents in the UK survey, 5678 had experienced anxiety about their appearance, and 5388 had experienced shame, 702 had experienced suicidal thoughts. But with so many of us feeling uncomfortable in our skin – what is the answer?

Broaden your perspective on beauty 

“Beauty is not defined by one factor,” says therapist Jessica Lau. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – what are the other pillars of beauty that anchor you? Having a variety of anchors is important, otherwise a change in the numbers you see on the scale, or a fresh breakout can shake your self-esteem.”

Jessica recommends writing down the pillars as a reminder that beauty exists beyond your weight.

“Find things you like or appreciate about your body – your eyes, the way your hands play a musical instrument, how your legs carry you to your destination. Consider the values and strengths beyond your physicality that make you beautiful – your kindness, your empathy, your bravery to try new things. You are more than just your appearance,” says Jessica.

Your list might look something like: 

1. The way I dance
2. My love of animals 
3. That I embrace challenges 
4. The shape of my lips

“When you notice these things in the moment, compliment yourself or state your gratitude out loud. Affirmations are proven by research to support your mental health and sense of self-worth,” she adds.

 Curate your social media feed consciously and unfollow any accounts on social media that add to the internal narrative of comparison. Seek out and follow accounts which normalise a wide range of bodies and appearance – there are many influencers working to reset attitudes towards many of the qualities that society tells us we should be insecure about – from being fat, to having acne, or being hairy. Following this content can help shift your mindset, and allow you to see beauty through a wider, more realistic lens.

Using body neutrality as a tool

“If you’re struggling to love all parts of your body, that’s okay – and very normal, because of the images we see on a daily basis,” says Jessica.

“Adding an extra layer of shame because you’re struggling to love all parts of your body only places an extra burden on your mental health,” she adds.

Body positivity can feel extremely challenging for people experiencing negative feelings about their appearance. Body neutrality is an approach described by experts as more accessible. Its aim is to view your body with neither love or hate, but simply acknowledging its existence and function. It focuses on what our body allows us to do, rather than how it looks. Research shows that it’s successful in helping people separate their self-worth from appearance and helps reduce hopelessness among teens who have body image problems.

Body neutrality is composed of three key elements. The first is the acknowledgement that your body, and feelings about it will fluctuate throughout the day, over years and across your lifetime. Actioning this includes mindful noticing of these feelings or thoughts. You might find it helpful to label these thoughts when they come to mind – I’m having a thought / feeling about my body. This can help the thought to pass.
The second element is developing respect for the ways in which your body serves you. I’m grateful that my eyes allowed me to watch that sunset. My hands let me stroke that dog. My tummy helps me absorb nutrients.

The final part is de-centring appearance from our self-worth and appreciating the full spectrum of qualities and values that make us who we are - like the other pillars of beauty mentioned above.

And if you can’t access neutrality, that’s okay too. “It’s okay to sit with sticky feelings about a part of your body. And if you decide you want to change something – you’re allowed to. Your body, your choice,” Jessica adds.

If weight loss is your goal

“Start by setting small goals,” says Jessica. “When we break things down and take steps towards our goals, it can help us feel more in control and reduce anxiety associated with weight gain.”

Work with your preferences, rather than against them. “If you know you don’t like going through the motions at the gym, then finding an exercise class that you really love is a great first step – whether that’s yoga, Pilates, dance or kickboxing.”

“And when you complete each step - reward yourself. Whether it’s taking some time in nature, or playing your favourite video game. Rewards help us feel motivated and mark our achievements,” she adds.

As well as reframing the way you think about beauty, you can reframe the way you feel about exercise. Rather than focusing on whether an exercise will give you the body you desire, place the emphasis on your achievement or enjoyment of it. My body feels alive when I work out. I’m so proud I lifted a heavier weight today. I was brave and tried a new class today, even though I was nervous.

This helps us write a different story – exercise is no longer something we endure because our bodies are wrong. Instead we are leaning into exercise because it feels good. It takes time to see results from exercise, so finding reasons beyond wanting to achieve a certain look helps support your endurance and commitment. “Meaning sustains us, your meaning could be wanting to feel strong, or have more energy to play with your kids,” says Jessica.

Recognising when you need help

If you’ve obsessively checked the number on the scales, or ignored your hunger cues because you want to drop a dress size – it’s time to check in with your mental health.

If you notice these red flags in yourself, you should seek further help – whether that’s by telling a friend, or by talking to a therapist, who can help you navigate feelings about your body and food.

The first major sign is eating a restricted diet that omits entire food groups like carbohydrates or fats. Extremes like skipping meals, or constantly eating are also indicators.

Removing yourself from the social aspect of eating. This might look like refusal to go out for dinner, only eating when you’re by yourself, insisting on making your own food, not allowing yourself to deviate from a diet plan, to the extent that you won’t eat treats like birthday cake on special occasions.

Another symptom is compulsively checking your body, measuring or weighing yourself and examining your skin and picking it. Alternatively, you might avoid mirrors completely.

You might take severe measures to lose weight, like taking laxatives, products like ‘skinny teas’, or forcing yourself to be sick after meals. You might exercise excessively, prioritising it over social connection, skipping rest days, or continuing to work out even when you’re unwell.

You might spend a lot of time thinking about food, your body, or comparing yourself to other people. It might take a long time to get ready, as you choose clothes and apply make-up meticulously to conceal your perceived ‘flaws’.

Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours associated with food or your body might be affecting your day to day functioning at work, or your ability to be present with your loved ones. 

Have you noticed an uptick in these kinds of behaviours? Our therapists can help you navigate difficult feelings about your body image and self-concept. They work with you to find better ways of relating to yourself, building resilience and helping you find ways to accept yourself – just as you are.

References 
National eating disorders, Eating disorders in men and boys.
S Kim, Y Lee, Why do women want to be beautiful? A qualitative study proposing a new “human beauty values” concept, 2018.
Elsadai, R D Susanti , T Eriyani, Relationship between the intensity of Instagram utilisation and tendency of body dysmorphic disorder in female students, 2022.
Parliament UK, Body image survey results, 2020.
K Suhag, S Rauniyar, Social media effects regarding eating disorders and body image in young adolescents, 2024.
K E Mulgrew, A Hinz, What is body neutrality and how is it different to existing body image concepts? An analysis of experts and general community responses, 2024.
NHS, Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).
NHS, Overview – Eating disorders.
P Mancin et al, Exploring Snapchat Dysmorphia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder symptoms, and body trust in patients seeking aesthetic medicine procedures, 2025.
P Ozimek et al, How photo editing in social media shapes self-perceived attractiveness and self-esteem via self-objectification and physical appearance comparisons, 2023.
NEDA, Eating disorders in men and boys.