Is high achievement burning you out? The root cause may lie in your childhood.

High achievement is celebrated: academic, professional and personal successes are often regarded as external validation for our self-worth and value. 

As a clinical psychologist, I see the burnout that lies beneath the polished exterior of high achievers. 

Burnout is characterized by chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and overwhelm. For high achievers, the intense pressure to meet self-imposed standards and external expectations can lead to a spiral of mental health issues. 

Under the façade of success, clients come into therapy feeling lost, depressed and overly anxious and unable to see their self-worth despite all they have achieved. 

Why high achievers burnout

If you’re a high-achiever, you might set exceedingly high standards for yourself, believing success is the ultimate marker of your worth. 

Intense focus on achievement often comes at a high personal cost. Despite external accolades or accomplishments, you often feel like you are never quite "enough." 

You push yourself relentlessly, constantly striving to meet goals without ever allowing yourself the opportunity to rest or acknowledge your progress.

This phenomenon often has roots in early childhood experiences and patterns. As a child, you internalize beliefs, values, and coping mechanisms shaped by your environment. 

The demanding, critical, or punitive voices heard from family, teachers, and society become part of your identity and continue to influence your behavior and emotional well-being as you grow into adulthood.

Childhood patterns: maladaptive childhood schemas

Schemas are deeply ingrained cognitive patterns that shape how you perceive yourself, others, and the world around you. 

Schema therapy, developed by Dr. Jeffrey Young, believes that your early life experiences contribute to the development of maladaptive schemas.

I have identified several schemas that are particularly relevant to high achievers and their susceptibility to burnout. 

Failure schema 

The failure schema emerges when a child is led to believe that they are inherently incapable of success, never as good as others, or that they will inevitably fail at important tasks. 

This belief may develop if a child experiences repeated academic or social failure, or if they were repeatedly criticised, punished or demeaned by primary caregivers. As they get older, they may feel the need to prove themselves, overcompensating for their perceived deficiencies by ceaselessly driving themselves to overachieve. Regardless of achievement, the fear of failure remains constant, causing them to work harder and harder.

For clients with a failure schema, there is often a sense of urgency and anxiety that accompanies every task. They feel an overwhelming pressure to perform perfectly, fearing that any sign of failure will confirm their perceived inadequacy. 

This creates a cycle of stress and burnout, as they push themselves to avoid failure at all costs, even at the expense of their mental and physical health. 

Defectiveness and shame schema 

The defectiveness and shame schema revolves around the belief that one is inherently flawed, unworthy of love or respect, and not good enough. People with this schema grew up being repeatedly criticised or punished. They may have felt rejected, or as though they were a constant disappointment or burden to their caregivers. 

Individuals with this schema often feel deep shame about who they are, and their inner sense of ‘defectiveness’ compels them to seek external validation through achievements and recognition. If they fail to meet their own or others' expectations, they experience intense feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame.

This can manifest in patterns of selecting critical and rejecting friends and partners. They fear expressing their true thoughts and feelings, and believe no one will accept them once others find out about who they believe they really are: an inadequate and worthless human being. 

In some cases, these people may overcompensate, and be the first to criticise or reject another person in an attempt to protect their vulnerable child within. 

However, because the core belief is never truly addressed, high achievement becomes a double-edged sword—while it may bring external accolades, it does little to alleviate the inner feeling of defectiveness. Instead, it fuels a cycle of shame and burnout.

Unrelenting standards schema 

People with the unrelenting standards schema believe they must always perform at their best, meet exceedingly high expectations, and avoid any form of failure or imperfection. It’s often a compensatory schema, working alongside primary schemas like failure and defectiveness. 

It often develops when a child is raised in an environment where excellence is overly emphasized, and anything less than perfection is seen as unacceptable. These individuals internalize high standards to avoid criticism. 

For clients with an unrelenting standards schema, there is a constant pressure to perform. They may feel that anything less than perfection is a failure, which causes them to push themselves beyond their limits. 

This schema can prevent them from taking breaks as they have a preoccupation with time and efficiency, while struggling to enjoy their achievements, or acknowledge their limitations, resulting in emotional exhaustion and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Approval seeking schema

The approval-seeking schema involves a deep need for external validation and approval from others. Individuals with this schema fear rejection or criticism and may go to great lengths to gain the approval of others, overperforming to earn recognition, praise and acceptance, even at the cost of their own needs.

While seeking approval from others can initially fuel achievement, it also creates an underlying sense of insecurity. 

People with this schema may feel that they are only valuable or worthy when they are receiving positive feedback. 

As a result, they may experience disappointment and anxiety when they feel that their efforts are not being adequately recognized, or when they face criticism. External approval overshadows their internal sense of self-worth.

Schema therapy: a path towards healing and recovery

If you see these schemas at play in yourself, Schema therapy offers a promising approach.

By addressing the maladaptive childhood schemas that underlie patterns of behavior, you can begin to heal the emotional wounds that fuel your drive for perfection and external validation.

Schema therapy involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral techniques, experiential work, and relational techniques aimed at identifying and healing the schemas that shape your worldview. Through this process, you can learn to recognize your patterns of perfectionism, shame, and approval-seeking, thus developing healthier ways of coping with underlying fears, and most importantly minimizing the internalized critical, demanding, and punitive voices.

Another key goal of therapy is to help you develop self-love, which you may struggle to find through the intense self-deprecating, self-sabotaging, or even self-hating internal dialogues. The process begins by cultivating a more compassionate and accepting view of yourself and others. 

In summary

The connection between high achievement, burnout, and maladaptive childhood schemas is profound and often hidden. 

High achievers, driven by their need to prove themselves, are susceptible to burnout due to the internalized beliefs of failure, defectiveness, and sense of inadequacy. 

Understanding how these schemas develop and influence behavior can provide valuable insights into your emotional struggles. 

Schema therapy offers an effective pathway to healing and can help you break free from a vicious cycle of ceaseless self-criticism and lack of self-compassion, so that you can reclaim your mental and emotional well-being. By addressing the root causes, therapy can help you find balance, self-compassion, and a healthier approach to success.